The Decade of Dad: Why These 10 Years Matter More Than Any Other

Most of us will have plenty of decades for building wealth, scaling businesses, and chasing dreams—but for each child, there is only one Decade of Dad. Between the ages of 5 and 15, our children need their fathers in ways that can't be outsourced, delayed, or substituted. It's a fleeting window that sets the foundation for their identity, values, and resilience. If we miss those years, there is no amount of future success that can buy them back.

Before (5) and After (15)

While the involvement of fathers in the lives of their kids during early childhood can help form a strong attachment, it is commonly accepted and even academically established via studies such as the 1969 Ainsworth’s Strange Situations study from John Hopkins University that young children often prefer time with their mothers.¹

While young children typically prefer their mothers for comfort and caregiving during the early years, however, starting around age 5 they often seek more interaction with their fathers, especially for play, learning, and exploration.²

Then around age 15, while parental influence remains significant, older teens often seek more autonomy from their parents. Friendship groups become more important as teens seek out social acceptance and a sense of belonging. They often identify more with peers who share similar interests and experiences.

The Crucial Years: Ages 5 to 15

There is a large body of research showing the positive societal impact of involved fathers and the negative effects of absent fathers on children and communities. Notably, children with engaged fathers exhibit higher self-esteem, better emotional regulation, and stronger social skills.³

The formative years are more than just soccer games and homework help—they're when kids form their sense of self, belonging, and moral compass.

Here’s a quick breakdown of what children typically need at each stage:

•  Ages 5–7: They need nurturing, safety, and consistency. Kids are absorbing emotional cues and forming their first friendships.
•  Ages 8–10: They’re building confidence through achievement and starting to compare themselves to others. Encouragement and presence are essential.
•  Ages 11–13: Preteens need guidance as they begin to assert independence. They watch their parents closely to understand integrity, responsibility, and how to navigate life.
•  Ages 14–15: Teens begin to test boundaries, seek autonomy, and explore identity. Fathers become mentors—or absent figures that they quietly stop turning to.

These years are the Decade of Dad. They require time, emotional availability, and intentionality.

The Cost of Workaholism

It’s tempting to believe that working harder now will give our kids “more” later. But research paints a different picture. Studies have found that children of workaholic parents are significantly more likely to feel emotionally abandoned and suffer long-term effects like anxiety, depression, and lower academic performance.

“It is interesting to note that children of workaholic fathers appear to be at risk for elevated depression, anxiety, and locus of control, whereas children of workaholic mothers do not."⁴

When dads are always “busy,” the unspoken message is: You're not as important as my work. That wound and the associated regret lasts longer than any missed promotion.

You Can’t Rewind the Clock

You can scale a business in your 40s, build wealth in your 50s, and even retire in your 60s. But you can’t read bedtime stories to a 10-year-old when he’s 18. You can’t attend a middle school play or soccer game that is deep in the past. And you can’t go back and be the dad you meant to be. This is the decade. The other decades can wait.

How to Reclaim Balance: Frugality, Entrepreneurship, & Delegation

So, how do you prioritize presence without sacrificing provision?

It starts with reflection and intentional life design. In other words, it is vital that you choose a path rather than having it chosen for you.

Here are three potential paths:

1. Frugality: Reclaiming Freedom Through Simplicity

Living below your means buys you something more valuable than stuff: time. Every dollar you don’t spend is a piece of your life you get to keep. Frugal living doesn’t mean poverty—it means choices. Smaller homes, older cars, and budget-friendly habits can give you the margin to coach Little League, be at every recital, and have unhurried dinners.

2. Entrepreneurship: Owning Your Time

A well-designed business offers flexibility and freedom. Entrepreneurship doesn’t have to be about 60-hour weeks. With modern tools, you can create a business that’s lean, remote, and profitable. The key is to work intentionally ON the business, building around lifestyle and long-term goals instead of getting stuck working reactively IN the business. For many entrepreneurs, it can take up to a decade to find the sweet spot and the repeatable processes that enable them to achieve work-life balance.

58% of small business owners work over 50 hours per week.⁵

Thankfully, many of those who have “figured it out” choose to share what they’ve learned and turn their repeated model for success into playbooks that can be used by others. 

3. Franchise Ownership: Achieve Scale & Delegate

If entrepreneurship feels too overwhelming or too time-consuming, consider well-established franchises for a more predictable and faster path to scale. Franchises come with proven playbooks, systems, and support, often allowing for faster ramp-up to critical mass. Once critical mass is achieved, many business owners find it easier to delegate tasks and reduce the burden of time-pressure. With the playbook and the right team, you can build income-generating operations that don’t require your full-time daily presence—freeing you to be more present at home.

Dad Is the Legacy

What if your greatest contribution to the world isn’t the business you build but the person you raise?

The Decade of Dad is not about perfection. It’s about showing up, being present, and making memories that last longer than milestones. It's not material matters that shape a child—it’s the steady, quiet presence of a father who made time when it mattered most.

The world of work and business will still be there when the Decade of Dad ends.

But your child won’t be 7, 11, or 15 ever again.

Take time to carefully choose the path that will enable you to show up for the decade of dad. Because ultimately that’s the investment with the highest return.

REFERENCES

1  Mary Ainsworth (1978). “Patterns of Attachment” 

2  Paquette, D. (2004). "Theorizing the Father-Child Relationship: Mechanisms and Developmental Outcomes."

3  Sarkadi, A., Kristiansson, R., Oberklaid, F., Bremberg, S. (2008). "Fathers’ Involvement and Children’s Developmental Outcomes: A Systematic Review."

4  Yamasaki, 1994

5  Forbes 2024